An Ode to Austin and the Gift of Love and Company
Dogs fill our day with their little noises and their needs, it’s a special clock ticking down the hours of the day that we keep together.
What’s Work Got to Do with Grief?
No one needed me between the hours of 9am and 5pm and there was a terror and thrill to this new reality. I took grief, wellness and writing classes, traveled to see friends and family, learned how to draw and paint. I learned how to shape my day, how to survive the time from sunup to sundown without Daryl, my North Star.
New Year, Same Me
It is impossible to describe the speed at which you will go through emotions, versions of yourself, like flipping and reshuffling a deck of cards, like peeling a tarot card and wondering at its meaning. Each time, at the end, you are someone completely different.
There is a light that never goes out
You think you’ll know what songs to skip on your playlist or to avoid at all costs, but grief likes to
keep you guessing.
All About End-of-Life-Doulas (Or, Everything You Need to Know About Dying, But Didn’t Know to Ask)
I only wish I had known about End-of-Life Doulas when Daryl was dying, because it would have helped me immensely in processing and understanding what we were going through.
Where You Lead
I realized how much of my life I spent thinking my mom and I had a Gilmore Girls-style relationship. That I was out in the world, blazing a trail and she would eventually follow.
Grief Whack-a-mole and Memoir Writing
Grief never feels the same twice and it sure as hell doesn’t send you a warning.
Unlucky in Death
It’s like there is a law of diminishing return when it comes to death and grieving —people can understand one tragedy, but two? That’s too many.
Corpse Pose
Grief can feel like an invisibility cloak. It allows you to hear and see things differently, and be privy to thoughts and feelings normally inaccessible.
To Mom, with love
What do you do when someone who loves you with such fierce belief in your potential is gone?
The Shape of Grief
Grief may warp your memories, but you can choose how you let it shape you after your person has died.
Grief Goals and Dead Loved One’s Things
What do you do with objects that slowly lose their purpose other than to hold grief and the absurd belief the dead person may return and use them?
Grief and THE HOLIDAYS
What if we stopped letting THE HOLIDAYS dictate what life should look like? Grief is a bacchanal of emotions, but we treat it like a formal mass, as if we have some control when it comes for us. Truly letting it all out in the presence of our loved ones, that would be honoring grief during the holidays.
The (Non) Perks of Being an Introvert When Searching for Widow Support
Finding Grief and Widow Support Is Hard. You Don’t Always Know What You Need Because What You Need Is Always Changing.
The Girl with the Grief Ribbon
My grief feels like those terrible “waist trainer” girdles celebrity women wear. It wraps around you, hugging and tightening and squeezing your breath away, and you have no choice. It is also a terrible replacement for your person.
Finding the Edge
Watching surfing, I’ve found many metaphors for life with stage 4 cancer and loss
Death, Grief, Healthy Living(?), Repeat
During early grief, constants are so important, finding anything you enjoy, to focus your mind and get you out of bed feels miraculous.
Grief Bombs
Almost two years since Daryl’s death and nine months since my mom died, I’m wondering how to have a new relationship with and to them?